THINGS THAT SHOULD BE PLUMP

THINGS THAT SHOULD BE PLUMP


I asked my son who should be plump, and he said his first primary school teacher was just right. We agreed teachers should seem plump (even especially if he or she isn’t) …

then he said lollipop ladies should be plump …

and in fact, ALL women should be plump before you reach the age of five

(What happens after five, I’m not sure.)

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Pea pods

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Once in Paris, I saw a small plump dog on a pink leash. When I looked closer, bits of the dog’s coat had been dyed pink. It brought me immense joy to see the plump old lady who was walking it had matching pink streaks in her silver hair. It just wouldn’t have been the same if either of them had been thin and eager. I wanted to take them both to a plump pink boudoir and feed them plump chocolate.

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Airbags …

and pillows

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Beach books. Ah yes, but the heroes in beach books should never be plump although the heroines can be - just a little

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A plate of lasagne, oozing with plump cheese and plump tomatoes

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When I was growing up, my sister used to invent all sorts of Halloween rituals to frighten me. I didn’t mind too much because it was the one night of the year she’d let me sleep in her room. When we got older, our Halloween games involved boys and unrequited love. There was always a lot of both in our house. Anyway, we gave three chestnuts the names of our current crushes and put them on the wood fire. The one that popped the first was the boy who would love us the most. It was also the plumpest one (the chestnut, not the boy)

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My Christmas stocking. I’ve never seen the point of small and tasteful presents

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Coffee beans. If nothing else, they reminds me that coffee is a plant and not ground sawdust

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Baby’s calves, and that little roll at the top of their arms. Does no-one else feel the urge to bite?


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