Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy
Why are chocolate buttons rude?
Because they are Smarties in the nude
Why was Santa's little helper feeling depressed?
He had low elf-esteem
What athlete is warmest in winter?
A long jumper
What's the fastest thing in water?
A motor pike
What's furry and minty?
A polo bear
What is black and white and noisy?
A zebra with a drum kit
What do you call a man who used to be interested in tractors?
An ex-tractor fan
ps even more good cracker jokes here. And here
ps YES they were jokes. Stop whinging and get that paper crown on....