Meet THE ABCS OF LOVE bird, made by Cotton Bird Designs from pages of my novel. I love it. It's sitting staring at me on my desk at this very minute. But what I like most of all are the words on its front because they are from this section:
Sally has a friend who can suck up a whole creme caramel from a plate in one go. I have seen her do it. She stands over the table, with her hands behind her back, and then she hoovers it up in one go without leaving a drop either on the plate or round her lips.
Sally herself can fit thirty-eight maltesers into her mouth at once. She has to stuff them round her lips and in the spaces at the back of her jaw. It is not a very attractive trick, especially when she has to spit them all out again. But then neither is the creme caramel sucking up, but at parties, people always ask to see them. It makes Sally and her friend the centre of attention, and the rest of us feel jealous.
Unfortunately I don't like either Maltesers or creme caramel and the one trick I do know is very complicated, involving three packs of cards. Could this be where I am going wrong?
See Captains, Underwear, Wobbling
And because we're all friends on this blog, this gives me the chance to admit that the two tricks above are, in fact, my specialities. Yep, I am that fun party person you dread coming near your fridge. But you can see now why they invited me to join the circus, can't you? I will be in one of those little tents at the back hoovering up creme caramels one after the other after the other after the other ....
That old bearded lady will have nothing on me.
And this little bird will be telling everyone all about it.