Self Help Similes

I've just written a review of Lorrie Moore's wonderful collection of short stories, Self Help for the forthcoming issue of the Short Review, so I won't duplicate here what I've said.

But, oh, I wanted more space than my review to talk about Lorrie Moore's similes. Every one seems to be a gem, to be crafted so it shines - and yet, maybe because there are so many, they don't over balance the text in the way that makes you want to 'kill your darlings', as William Faulkner once said.

Here are some:

"He goes about the business of fondling you, like someone very tired at night having to put out the trash and bolt-lock the door."

Ouch. How about this childhood memory:

"This house is embedded in you deep, something still here you know, you think you know, a voice at the top of those stairs, perhaps, a figure on the porch, an odd apron caught high in the twigs, in the too-warm-for-a-fall-night breeze, something not right, that turret window you can still see from here, from outside, but which can't be reached from within."

And later in that paragraph, because Lorrie Moore matches long sentences with short ones just perfectly:

"The window sits like a dead eye in the turret."

More? Here's one that just hits the spot - I had to stop reading when I got to it just to admire for a few minutes:

"I look for tears in his eyes and think I spot the shiny edge of one, like a contact lens."

And this, just how I feel sometimes:

"Feel gray, like an abandoned locker room towel."

And last one, just the right hint of menace and foreshadowed pain:

"You are two spies glancing quickly at watches, necks disappearing in the hunch of your shoulders, collars upturned and slowly razoring the cab and store-lit fog like sharkfins."

Yep, this is FUN writing to read like when you meet someone who makes you talk in a way that makes you both sparkle. I want to tear it apart like a provincial dressmaker would rip into a ballgown to see how the real designers do it. Or to identify every spice in the chef's special like a zealous restaurant critic who wants to get the review right. I feel electric as if Lorrie Moore's switched on my reading lamp.

OK, OK, I'll stop now. But that's my writing prompt for today ... as many similes as I can list, and I'm excited by this exercise, like the geeky kid who actually takes end-of-term quizzes seriously.

Masks from Venice

Bringing endless fun to the Salway household...

Omigod it's a cat ... ohmigod it's a cat ... ohmigod it's a cat ... wait a minute, what's a cat?...

Ooo and look, it's a cog-dat...



And my writing prompt for today is ... the pet's revenge.

Tracy Emin in Venice

The French and British exhibits at the Biennale were next to each other at the end of the row. I went to the Sophie Calle first, and then dashed into Tracy Emin's out of a sense of 'oh, I have to do this because people will ask.' It's not that I don't like Tracy Emin's work, but more that I've always felt there's something a bit intimidating about it, as if I'm 'not going to get it'. This fear wasn't helped by the people coming out as I was going in, who all seemed to be shaking their heads and laughing a little bit.

I still don't know if I 'got it', but I got something, and that was enough for me. I got that I'd like to force all teenage girls to come in and see the British exhibit - and to really LOOK. It made me want to protect and attack all at the same time, a confused, uncomfortable feeling. Birds were a motif, as shown by the beautiful fragile light sculpture on the outside.



The central hall was filled with branches and around it charcoal sketches of women's private parts (God, I'm embarrased about saying that, like a prim aunt, but I don't want to get hundreds of google hunters coming here and getting disappointed.) Anyway, to me - and you'll understand now I'm no art expert - it felt as if there was something equally fragile, bird-like and transient about the drawings. Almost as if you needed to cup them in your hands. It wasn't sexual though, or voyeuristic. More ... oh, what do I want to say ... fleeting. That's it. I was very moved.

And then in the next room, I read this.



And round the corner, I came across this, which made me gasp out loud. Not the words but the way and how they had been written which made them so painfully polite but almost invisible - surely part of the point.



And this sums up this post for me, really. I think I know what the exhibit was saying, but oh I'm not sure, but on the other hand I think I know what I liked about it. Oh heck...why am I such a girl at saying what I mean, and striving to get to the point when I can say this is what I know I want to say, which is what I think the exhibit was really about.



And my writing prompt for today is ... the subversive stitch.

Sophie Calle in Venice

I've written several times on this blog already about my passion for Sophie Calle, so you can imagine how excited I was that I managed to catch the last few days of her show at the Biennale in Venice.

She took as a focus for the exhibition a dumping letter she'd received by email from a lover, which ended in the words 'Take Care of Yourself'.



Well, Sophie Calle knows how best to take care of herself - by examining from every minute angle the experience so as to own it better. She asked 107 women (actually 106 women and one parrot) to give their versions of the letter. This varied from a text message.



To a mathematical diagram.



And also included a deaf signing, a musical interpretation, a clowning, a mother's viewpoint, linguistic variations, a young girl's comments and many many more. It was moving and funny and I can't believe anyone - man or woman - could have walked round without thinking of their own relationships and what they REALLY meant. We too often see things just through our obviously biaised eyes.

It's hard to say which were my favourites. I loved the marital guidance session where Sophie Calle was filmed being interviewed sitting on one chair, while the letter took the 'husband's' seat, saying nothing but looking remarkably smug. I also giggled, along with everyone else, as a cook was videoed chopping up vegetables harder and harder as she read through the letter. And I barked with laughter and shock as the parrot actually dived in and ate the letter. I know I'll be thinking about it for a long time to come, and that - in some way or another - the ideas in that room will come out in my writing.

It's this response which summed up the whole exhibition for me.



I went to the exhibition with a group of women, and couldn't help but wonder what the male visitors felt. Was it their worst nightmare of how women discuss them? Because, to be honest, being surrounded by so many - sympathetic - female responses and voices made me think of numerous lunches I've spent analysing relationships. So perhaps it's not surprising that, according to the Guardian Interview Sophie Calle's boyfriend has made this request from her:

She doesn't use her all boyfriends as work, she insists. Her current partner has asked her not to do anything based on him and she has agreed.

And my writing prompt for today is .... A farewell letter.

Fish in Venice

No, not in the canals - or not that we saw, and we did look pretty closely. Here's the bottom of one canal, for instance. Takes some of the romance away, doesn't it?



But the true earthy (or sea-y) romance of Venice was still very much present at the Rialto market, where we had some of the best hot chocolate of my life. Just a cup of melted chocolate as far as we could tell, and thick enough to stand a spoon up in it.

And saw every kind of fish you could imagine.



Which made me sad all over again about how few fresh fish shops we have in Britain now. Anyone else remember being taken to Macfisheries when they were a kid? Although now, I have to admit, I wouldn't know what to do with half the varieties on sale at the market.



Apart from just gasp at how beautiful some were.



And my writing prompt today is ... Meeting your soulmate in a fish shop.

Books in Venice

I'm just back from a fantastic few days in Venice. Not sure my slow slow slow campaign worked, although a night time gondola ride was just the right pace for me. I could live like that. I'm still processing all the highlights but here's definitely one of them, which was finding a shop which made books into pieces of art.

Jeckyll and Hyde looks distinctively frightening:



Whereas The Lord of the Rings has a real hobbit-like feel to it, as if you would be reading private diaries:



But my favourite was definitely Treasure Island. How magical does this look? It feels like you, as reader, will be taking part in the adventure before you even open the first page:



Mind you, at those prices perhaps it was a good thing the shop was shut, although I did get a sneak look inside. It was like something out of Harry Potter in there...

Slowly now...

I won't be posting for a few days as I'm away for some writing time with a notebook, the CD a lovely friend made for me, and just one book.

It's the last item that makes my heart race. Just ONE book. How will I cope? I normally take suitcases full, most of which admittedly I never get around to reading. But then it's this one, IN PRAISE OF SLOW by Carl Honore, and I've had it recommended to me so often, I've finally listened. I don't want to rush it - not when the second quote in the book is this one from William Dean Howells: 'People are born and married, and live and die, in the midst of an uproar so frantic that you would think they would go mad of it', and, to be honest, I have been worried I've been going a bit, not mad, but frantic from the franticism recently. So much has happened that I've just put it to one side to think about later because there's even more happening that needs to be put to one side... you get the picture.

And so I'm going to practice sloooow writing. I haven't even taken my laptop. I'll be writing just as fast or slowly as my pencil takes me.

For writing prompts, don't forget to visit Your Messages, or do yourself a favour and read the responses already up. They're absolutely amazing.

The photograph above is my writing prompt for today.

From the excellent New Writer Magazine

JUST TWO WEEKS TO CLOSING DATE


Prose and Poetry Prizes 2007
from The New Writer magazine
Now in its eleventh year, one of the major annual international competitions for short stories, novellas, single poems, poetry collections, essays and articles; offers cash prizes as well as publication for the prize-winning writers in The Collection, special edition of The New Writer magazine each July (back copies available from website).
Closing date 30 November 2007

Short Stories, Novellas/Serials - stories up to 4,000 words, serials/novellas up to 20,000 words on any subject or theme, in any genre (not children's). Previously published work is not eligible. Short Stories: 1st prize £300, 2nd £200, 3rd £100. Novella: 1st prize £300. Entry fees £4 per short story (TNW subscribers two entries at same fee) or £10 per serial/novella.

Single Poems and Collections - single poems up to 40 lines and collections of between 6 - 10 poems. Single poem entries must be previously unpublished; previously published poems can be included as part of a collection. Collection: 1st prize £300, 2nd £200, 3rd £100. Single: 1st prize £100, 2nd £75, 3rd £50. Entry fee £4 per single poem (TNW subscribers two entries at same fee, £10 per collection.

Essays, Articles, Interviews - covering any writing-related or literary theme in its widest sense up to 2,000 words. 1st prize £150, 2nd £100, 3rd £50. Single entry £4 (TNW subscribers two entries at same fee).

All work should be clearly typed, double-spaced (except poetry), on one side of white A4 paper and paperclipped. Entrants may make as many submissions as they wish but please include your name, address, title of entry, word count and category on a separate cover sheet with every entry. Preliminary judging will be carried out by The New Writer editorial board with guest judges making the final selection so there should be no identifying marks on the entries. Judges in recent years include Robyn Young, Robert Seatter, Mimi Thebo, Simon Scarrow, Jane Draycott, Ros Barber, Margaret Graham, Phil Whitaker.

Further information including guidelines at http://www.thenewwriter.com/prizes.htm

Writers can enter at our secure credit card server at http://www.thenewwriter.com/entryform.htm

We can supply this year’s printed Entry Forms on request, and in bulk to Writers' Groups.

Last year’s winners are listed at http://www.thenewwriter.com/prizewinners.htm

My new writing partners

And hurrah for students who pass on good music to write to (or is to write behind/with/against?).

Welcome to my beautiful home....

Shall I tell you a little about my fabulous life? My mansions and penthouses and stays in luxury hotels? My mirrors made from ancient Egyptian glass found in sealed tombs. My bathrobes trimmed with ostrich feathers. Shoes made from the skin of exotic animals. My writing desk which once belonged to Shakespeare. My mega-buck book contracts, views of land I own, how Victoria won't stop ringing me up for fashion advice...

Actually, and I hope you're not too shocked, none of the above is true. Apart from the fact that I do have a life. Maybe not always fabulous, it has to be said, but hey, some of the 'interesting times' are good material to put in the compost heap for writing. And on Thursday 6th December, I'm running a day course on Creative Non Fiction - how to write about your life in a creative and interesting way. It'll be held in Tunbridge Wells, just one hour from central London, and there are two places left. If you want to find out more, email me.

One of my many beautiful and talented household servants may answer you....

Christmas has come!

My home town of Tunbridge Wells is definitely full of surprises. One of which is, I'm sure, the window of the slightly stuffy department store that greets people getting off the train. Last year, the mannequin wore a very skimpy g-string but there were so many complaints that the g-string was soon replaced by a pair of very very big knickers. I kid you not. But now the Christmas windows are up, we're all very pleased the tradition has continued. So for strangers coming here by train, this is the first thing you'll see...



At least all the windows are beautiful, I have to say - they're not always. (The rubbish theme springs to mind here.) But this year the theme is ballet and fairy tales. I have never ever fancied a shop window dummy before, but TW has something for everyone, and just between you and me, here is a very fine specimen...



But, oh look, that hussy from the first window seems to have got there first. This has to be one of the most enthusiastic public wake-up kisses I've seen. 'Get a room', I heard one passer-by say. I expect a 'Disgusted from TW' letter any day soon ...



And my writing prompt for today is - waking up in shop window.

A touch of starry-dust

I am in danger of going to see Stardust every night at this rate. I don't even need to defend my obsession - it makes me happy and fills up my imagination so I really want to write. And then last night, I came back from the cinema to an email from my publisher directing me to Caroline Smailes's wonderful review of Leading the Dance. So now as well as D M Thomas's quote, I now have "Sarah Salway injects fragility and grace into the art of storytelling."

To say I'm chuffed is an understatement - and I haven't even had to find a fallen start to cut her heart out to put this spring in my step!

A good blurb

D M Thomas's The White Hotel is defintely on my list of the top ten most influential books for my writing, so you can imagine how surprised, proud and grateful I am to hear that he enjoyed my short stories, Leading the Dance and has given me this quote to use for them:

"These short stories explore the often wavering borderland between love and boredom, sensuality and repression, fidelity and betrayal. They are written with a spare and subtle elegance." D M Thomas

Gallivanting

I'm off on a jaunt today with one of my favourite companions, so here's the writing prompt I'm planning to work on in the train - a piece which includes EVERY word of the dictionary definition of gallivanting (well, maybe except Thesaurus, that might be hard to fit in, although ....) - To go out looking for entertainment or amusement. Thesaurus: traipse, ramble, meander, junket, travel, wander, roam, stray, rove, gad about, range.

And the good news...

keeps rolling in... Although it has to be said, the scientists don't seem to be totally convinced. This quote in particular made me smile:

"And much as we logically like the idea that men are interested in the waist to hip ratio, it actually features relatively low down the list of features males look for in a potential partner."

So I'm wondering now what men DO want if "fatty acids found on the hips" doesn't - logically - do the trick. Honestly, talk about fussy. I mean, look at us women, happy with a red dress (or two).

ps I know, it's Nigella again. What can I do, she's stalking me.

And my writing prompt for today is going to be ... curves.

Happy talk

I'm very happy to be hosting the latest leg of the Steve Stack mighty world tour, to promote his book, It is Just You, Everything's Not Shit, copies of which should be in everyone's stocking this Christmas.

IIJYENS (actually it took me longer to work out those initials than if I wrote it out in full but never mind) is an alphabetically based response to the question posed in the book, Is it Just Me or is Everything Shit?, and is a collection of everything Steve Stack finds good in life. Now we like alphabet books on this blog so Steve was on to a winner immediately. Even more so, when I started my own dialogue with the entries. Chinese chips I can understand (yes, yes, yes, at last I find my soulmate) but several entries (model villages!!!!) leave me cold, but that's the fun here. I have ordered several copies with personal dedications for some family members and am looking forward to some enthusiastic disagreements.

Anyway in lieu of pinching Steve Stack to find out if he was always as cheerful as he seems, I asked him some questions (oh but hey, we have the same initials so I can't do that SS to SS thing):

Sarah: What does happiness taste like for you?
Steve: Cake

Sarah: And what does it feel like?
Steve: Bubble wrap

Sarah: Sound like?
Steve: Church bells

Sarah: Smell like?
Steve: Play-doh

Sarah: Look like?
Steve: The woman I love

Sarah: Do you think it would be boring to be happy the whole time? If so, what's your favourite sad thing?
Steve: Oh god yes. Life needs its comparisons. Happy isn't happy without sad alongside it. My favourite sad thing is probably the final scenes of Life Is Beautiful but remember, it is only sad because of all the happy scenes that came before it.

Sarah: What's the best way to cheer up winter?
Steve: A log fire and lots of hot buttery crumpets

Sarah: Can you describe the happiest day of your life?
Steve: For legal reasons I probably shouldn't go into too much detail but it involved chorizo, a European capital city and a bed with flashing lights.

Sarah: Don't you think - in your heart of hearts - that there's really something creepy about model villages?
Steve: Not at all. When I see a model village I think of Camberwick Green
(Hmmm, still not convinced, Steve. all those puppets appearing from and disappearing into that 'magic musical box' used to freak me out a little)

Sarah: What is the question - on your world tour - that you wish you'd been asked? And what would your answer be?
Steve: Would you like a cup of tea and a slice of cake? To which I would have answered 'yes please'.

And no sooner said, than done. (although don't tell Steve but the tea is actually whisky so I can find out more about those flashing lights...)

Don't forget Burma

Someone called Sophie left the following message as a comment on one of my blog posts, so I'm bringing it up to give it some attention:

hello,
I am writing to you to ask for a favor, I would like to request for you to post this new campaign Don't Forget Burma on your blog and have you also participate as well. I hope this is not too much trouble for you. We created this site because we wanted a space where normal people could show that although the media spotlight over Burma may have dimmed, we are still thinking of Burma.

The team that runs this site came together through the "Support the Monks' Protest in Burma " Facebook group (439,000 members) and has created the website burma-watch.org.

We're a team of activists from around the world that work around the clock on our sites, we were key to coordinating the Global Day of Action for Burma on October 6th 2007 and Aung Sang Suu Kyi day (October 24th 2007).

We'd like to thank our launch partners who have helped make this project work., they are: Burma Campaign UK, The US Campaign for Burma, Avaaz.org, the European Burma Network and wearenotafraid.com .

About Burma

Burma is ruled by one of the most brutal military dictatorships in the world; a dictatorship charged by the United Nations with a "crime against humanity" for its systematic abuses of human rights, and condemned internationally for refusing to transfer power to the legally elected Government of the country – the party led by Nobel Peace Laureate Aung San Suu Kyi.

In September 2007 monks led thousands of peaceful protestors onto the streets of Burma. The Burmese military put this peaceful uprising down with ruthless brutality routinely using violence and torture against the protestors, even the monks. The people of Burma have lived under military dictatorship for 45 years. The last peaceful uprising that occurred in1988 was brutally put down by the army killing at least 3,000 people. However the West didn't act because very little news came out of Burma. This time is different, we know people have been tortured, we know hundreds and possibly thousands of people have been murdered by the regime in an attempt to put down the uprising.

To make sure the world doesn't forget get active, submit a photo of support to this site, join the Facebook group and find a local activist organisation via burma-watch.org.

Red dresses...

I wish you could see the new dress I'm wearing today. It's a dress for chasing squirrels in the park; for catching every train you think you might have left it too late to get; even for writing things that make the reader gasp. I'm struggling to keep up with it to be honest, so it definitely deserves its own poem.

Which is lucky, because that's exactly what we're about to do in my writing class later this morning. Not just write poems to my dress, of course, but about the clothes you put on that make you just know you can rule the world. Do men have those? Perhaps a red tie or a red t-shirt does the job as well, although somehow neither would make me feel I want to walk on tip-toes or do pirouettes in between sorting out international crises. Anyway, part of the inspiration comes from the poem: ‘WHAT DO WOMEN WANT?’by Kim Addonizio. You can hear her read it here but meanwhile here's a taster:

I want to walk like I’m the only
woman on earth and I can have my pick.
I want that red dress bad.
I want it to confirm
your worst fears about me

And to move to the end of Kim's poem, here's my other writing prompt for today - what would you like to wear to be buried in?

Hey cupcake, how are you doing?

(cartoon from the wonderful Harold's Planet)

What's not to like about cupcakes? I made my first batch for possibly years the other day and it was pure pleasure - not least because I'd forgotten how much fun icing is to plan, to scrape on, to decorate after, and to look at (and to just dip your little finger into when it's on the cake and try to get a taste without anyone noticing the mark). Admittedly Nigella Lawson is a problem. 'Oooo, you've been reading Nigella,' some nameless-never-to-be-offered-cupcakes-again-person said when I handed him the plate. I really really hate it when people claim ownership by stamping their names on things which should be universal, as Nigella Lawson seems to have done with cupcakes. In fact, this is probably one of the reasons why I'm developing an itch against academics. They say something completely obvious to the rest of us, write it again and again, albeit in slightly different ways in a book or a paper, and suddenly it is 'their theory' and you can't mention it again without quoting their name. Anyway, she (NL, not the particular academic I have in mind) has done the same with denim jackets - has anyone else noticed that no one with dark hair can ever wear a denim jacket again without people saying 'Ooo Nigella,' in silly voices. It's just not fair. But back to cupcakes, mine were delicious and made us all very happy and I'm still clearing up the hundreds and thousands that didn't make the final jump on to the top of the icing, albeit very slowly with a wetted fingertip so I can savour them more.

And I'm going to do a writing prompt today - and that is SCRAPING THE LAST ICING FROM THE BOWL.

ps don't forget Your Messages for daily November pleasure. The responses are absolutely amazing. I don't fancy the chances of Lynne and I choosing thirty without coming to blows as to which we'll be forced to leave out.

Stephen Benatar Rocks

I'm not sure I could do this - however much I manage to control it, I'm still stupidly shy and so have enough trouble getting up the nerve to sign a book someone has bought without having been accosted in the first place, but here is a man with real style. I'm impressed, and jealous. I think I might even buy the book.

Pop Ups!

The last thing I need is another obsession, but recently - and this is normally how I know I've been hit - I've been finding myself in the pop-up section of the bookshop. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to resist the immediate gratification of a Wild West pop up book which includes pop-ups of "an entire old west town, teepee, holster and pistol with a working trigger, cattle on the trail, and cowboys on horseback" (there's even a free-standing cowboy in full regalia as an extra. My!), or can I put it on my ever-growing Christmas list and wait mooonnnnttthhhssss for Santa to decide whether or not I am worthy:


And then, joys, browsing further on the internet, I find this, a pop-up book of altars:


So, for the moment, I'm going to make do with a writing prompt - to come up with the most unlikeliest pop-up book and write a scene when this is presented as a gift.

The Oven House

Good golly, miss molly, have you seen the responses to Your Messages? Lynne and I are overawed. Which is why it's probably a good time to mention that Lynne's novel, The Oven House, is about to be re-issued and it's sexy, funny, sad and just slightly obsessive. It's a strange thing to read a book by someone you know well - if you don't like the book, will you still like the person? When we started Messages together, we didn't know each other very much at all, but as the project progressed and we started to see each other more outside 'work' it was as if we were having two different conversations - our dialogue through Messages and our writing, and our one about mundane daily things. Sometimes we'd meet and not talk about Messages at all, but I'd come back and find one waiting for me from her in the inbox. So I'd reply without mentioning it either, although I might be emailing her a follow-up of our social conversation at the same time. It was as if we'd created a third person - lynneandsarah who writes in 300 word pieces. But The Oven House (which is slightly more than 300 words) is purely Lynne - it's brilliant.

So where do you drink?

Here's the round table at the Algonquin Hotel in New York. You see, I'm getting ready for my writing trip to America (I know, I know, it's MONTHS away). Best possible research - where do writers' drink?.

The Short Review

A great site for picking up short story recommendations has just launched here.

Just a little - well mannered - rant!

I must have been about eight when my convent school had it's first 'wear what you want' day. We talked about nothing else for weeks, and I just knew my dress would be the best. It was yellow with mock leather trims (I know, I know, I want one NOW too!). Anyway, I hardly slept all night but imagine my horror when my mum dropped me off at school to find another girl was wearing exactly the same dress. I did what any self-respecting fashionista would do - I stomped out and walked the six miles home, bother the consequences.

Anyway, that dress was from Marks and Spencer and it was a family joke after how I'd never buy anything from there again in case someone else wore the same.

So maybe that's why the adverts featuring Twiggy in a gondola are worrying me so much. Because after all, all she's doing is sitting in a boat looking, apart from the slightly scary eyes, perfectly ordinary.

And then I get it. That's what annoys me. Presumably M&S picked Twiggy because she's an icon still. She represented a whole decade if those photographic collages of the 60's are anything to go by. And she did this by daring to be a bit different. Absolutely not wearing the same dress as anyone else, and people of that age wanted to look llike Twiggy exactly because of that.

I don't believe the M&S ads. I don't believe the same Twiggy who stood gazing at the camera in the 60s - her eyes anything but scary - would choose beige clothes that make her look like anyone else, if a little bit cleaner.

And - to me - she's not a role model for how I want to look when I'm over-50 either, so I can't believe those of that age now want to either. She doesn't look like someone who wants to celebrate her age, but to hide it by becoming too safe. Unthreatening. Beige. Neat.

And that's exactly what Twiggy in the 60s wasn't. She changed the whole way we think about our bodies, right or wrong. But she made things happen.

God when I'm over fifty, I don't want to care what anyone thinks of me anymore. And I certainly don't want to be an M&S Twiggy trying to become invisible, and hoping I might pass for thirty-five.

It's like putting a beautiful fifty year old woman on dull tranquilisers. Break out Twiggy. Rock that boat and make us think again about our bodies - albeit slightly older ones!

And we're off!!!!

Your Messages goes live today and we've had TWO amazing responses already. Yay! This is going to be fun...

Burma

It's still there, even if the papers seem to have forgotten it.

I wish all these famous writers wouldn't keep sending me love letters....

Honestly, everytime I open my inbox there's another one. Hey, I'm not fussy - and yes, OK, I have to beg (or sign up at least) for them, but what could be better than getting a love letter or seven from people you respect?

Three threes

In honour of Tunbridge Wells's own beautiful thing and our enjoyable drink together last night, here are three threes for today ...

THREE FILMS I'VE ENJOYED RECENTLY (and I won't apologise for every category but I AM the only woman you will probably ever meet who has sat through and loved every single of the original Planet of the Apes series...)

1) Stardust. Go and see it tomorrow when the clocks change and we all get depresssed. It doesn't make any large promises but is just, just lovely. And it has so much made me want to write an adult fairy tale. We all need more fairy tales in our lives and the opportunities offered in structure etc are amazing. I want it on DVD NOW - I want it this Christmas to watch and watch again.
2) Me and You and Everyone We Know. We watched this on DVD last night and I'm even more bowled over by Miranda July than I was before. The generosity of her as an artist - to put so much in without fear she might run out of stuff to talk about. Does that make sense? I'm thinking particularly of the way her character just presses her fingers lightly on those round stickers in the car. It's just a second in the film, but in a less talented artist it would be a central motif, a moment too good to waste, or to trust that the audience wouldn't get it.
3) Superbad. It made me laugh. Nothing else need matter.

THREE SHORT BOOKS I'VE LOVED

1) Gents by Warwick Collins. I want to write more about this later, but in the meantime just trust Scott - it really is a classic.
2) Everyday Life by Lydie Salvayre. OK, I admit I found this author when I was browsing to see if my own books were on the shelf, but why isn't she better known? A fantastic voice, weird story and disturbingly compulsive read.
3) U and I by Nicholson Baker. MOre about Nicholson Baker than John Updike as all good criticism tends to be, but this is funny and Nicholson Baker is one of the few men who could rival Gary Lightbody for my ultimate fantasy date so I'm happy to read as many books about and by Nicholson Baker as he writes. Bring them on.

THREE WEBSITES I VISIT THAT SEND ME OFF INTO DAYDREAMS (AND AREN'T ABOUT WRITING)

1. A Socialite's Life. Recently I amazed a whole table of people by knowing absolutely everything there was to know about Lindsay Lohan. People were kind and didn't ask why? but this is the how?
2. Gluten Free Girl - confession time - I cried when Shauna put up the amazingly romantic photographs of marrying her chef and I actually get angry when she doesn't post for a couple of days. How can she live without me knowing? Good recipes too.
3. Cornflower and I share a birthday, and we used to live in Edinburgh together. Now I can still have a couple of minutes a day living in Edinburgh thanks to her blog - plus I also get to knit socks, cook, make intelligent comments and do all the things I might possibly do in another life (ie hers)

Book shed

Literally! Here's a shed built of 2,500 books (and found on the wonderful Shedworking.)

Seventy shopping days left until...

This book of beauty contains one of my poems, nestling happily in the section entitled, 'The Cost'. The poem, Night Letters, comes from a collection I'm working on about a mother who becomes a shopaholic. I'm really interested in that crossover between something we celebrate and even laugh at - shopaholic, chocaholic - and something that's very dark.

There are some gems in this book, which is edited by Jill Foulston, and the mix demonstrates that shopping is always so much more than just buying stuff. Perhaps it's not surprising then that the book starts with this quote from THE LADIES'PARADISE by Emile Zola:

The women reigned supreme. They had taken the shops by storm, camping there, as in a conquered country, like an invading horde, surrounded by the ravaged merchandise...

Crap books

Have been thinking a bit about perfection recently. Not least because I was reading some research which says that a class of beginning ceramicists were split in half. One half were told they would be assessed on quantity of pots thrown not quality - the other half believed they had to put one perfect pot up for assessment. And guess what, the quantity not quality brigade produced without fail much better pots than the 'one perfect example' set. I know myself my best stories and poems slip through when I'm not trying to write something excellent, but just to have fun with the writing. (The novels never slip anywhere, they prima-donna right across my life demanding attention and lots and lots of love.)

Anyway I particularly liked this answer to an old chestnut of a question by Anne Enright (do you get shot if you don't put Booker Prize winner before her name now? I did a check and I've not seen Anne Enright written straight ONCE after the announcement). The full interview is on the Book Depository website. (Btw, the Nicola Barker one is worth a look too. I feel pretty evangelical about her novel Clear myself so it was interesting to hear a little bit about how, and why, it was written.)


But back to Booker Prize winner Anne Enright:

MT: Do you have any tips for the aspiring writer!?

AE: A successful writer did not write the book you open in the shop. The successful writer wrote about sixteen crap books, and kept working them, and rearranging them until one less crap book was born. Never look at your work and despair - this is hard, it takes nerves of steel - look at your work and then work at it.

I also liked Anne Enright on the Today programme the day after the prize announcement. She was asked to sum up her book and started, 'well, when I normally defend it I say...' to which she was challenged, 'what do you say when you don't defend it?' There was a moment's silence before she said, 'I've never had to not defend it before...' Or the conversation went something like that, and I was completely and utterly charmed by her.

Your Messages!

When Lynne and I started our Messages project, it was never intended for publication but just something we thought would be fun. The book was an absolute bonus, and now it's reprinted we wanted to do something that would get some of that fun back again. So....

.... from November 1st, we will be putting up a different messages from the book on a daily basis for thirty days and asking anyone who wants to respond to that message in the same way Lynne and I did orginally. It can be through a word, a feel, a theme, but the responses have to be exactly 300 words long. These responses go in the comments section of the blog and once November is finished, then we will pick out our favourite thirty responses and these will be published in a YOUR MESSAGES booklet and we're going to have a party in London to celebrate with lots of wine and canapes and puddings. (Er, that is right, isn't it, Anthony?) Anyway, all the proceeds for the book (yes, I'm afraid you won't get paid but you do get those puddings) will go to charity. We've picked one and will be announcing shortly.

So far, a surprising number of people have signed up to do all thirty responses. I am, for sure, but there are some exciting writing names doing it too. However you can dip in and out of the project as you want. Come and see us at Your Messages, and bookmark us for November. Treat it as a writing workout. It may even help you fit into that special dress come Christmas.

Writing Groups

The two writing groups I run in Tunbridge Wells start again next week - these are on a Monday morning and a Tuesday evening, and will take place up until Christmas. If anyone who lives near enough to come would like a place on either, there are a few available still. Just email me and I'll get back to you!

What a line up!

A fantastic evening last night at the 25th poetry reading for The Frogmore Papers. Highlights for me included Caroline Price's new poem, 'The Boy who Laid an Egg', the very beautiful and elegant Gregory Warren Wilson describing how he attended a vegetable carving demonstration on a cruise ship, all of Tammy Yoseloff's reading, but, most of all perhaps, Catherine Smith's surprising observation during her reading about how we hadn't had many poems about sadomachosism yet that evening. I have never before snorted at a poetry reading.

No, I'm lying (although not about the snorting). Best of all was reading Catherine's new collection, LIP, on the tube home and finding I was acknowledged at the front. I'm made up - this is a fantastic book (not that I'm biased, of course).

Heavens Above

Here's my writing prompt for today.

For she's a jolly good fellow...

Now that Autumn is here, I'm getting more and more excited about my forthcoming fellowship at VCCA. In fact, I'll let you in on a secret. Not a day goes by that I don't go and ogle at the website, particularly at the Accepted Fellows page. I know this paragraph practically by heart:

You'll find a working environment far from the distractions of every day life. With three meals prepared for you every day, you'll experience large blocks of time where you can concentrate on your work. Many artists find the solitude and the privacy afforded at the VCCA liberating, and produce some of their best work here. Others are inspired by their colleagues with whom they share breakfast and dinners in a common dining hall.

There's something there worth repeating .... with three meals prepared for you every day...

Oh, and the large blocks of time where you can concentrate on your work bit too, of course.

I'm not really going there to eat, oh no! I have a 'secret project' to work on. I really can't wait to get my teeth into it.

And to make it all even more delicious, I'm going to travel from New York to Virginia by train too. This is an adventure, especially for a Fen girl. I think I might be finally growing up. There are even days I can cope with a hill or two. After all, I am about to be a fellow (or have I mentioned that already!)

The grumpiest celebrity?

Steve Stack is conducting a poll to find the grumpiest celebrity over on his blog. Vote now! I was very worried about someone nominating Gryff Rhys Jones because he always seems so jolly, but when I googled him a minute ago, I found someone's 'claim to fame' was that GRJ told him to piss off in Ipswich. Fame indeed.

Puppies, Liverpool and Fireman

Off to Liverpool yesterday to read - an excellent night. A good audience, and a good friend to stay up too late with.

Suffering on the train home this morning, I tried to will no one to sit next to me but it didn't work. No problem though because I got the best fellow passenger ever. Peter the Liverpool fireman - who reads masses of fiction and offered to share his tea with me. He told me he always had a travelling book, a home book and a work book.

'So you get to read at work?' I asked, imagining some furtive desk-reading at lunchtimes and that's when he told me what he did. Apparently they have bookshelves in the station and swop them with other stations. He even, whisper it, reads in the engine on the way to jobs sometimes.

'Do you discuss the books?' I asked.

'Yes, with my wife,' he said.

'No, I mean with the other firemen. Do you have a bookclub or anything?'

He looked at me as if I was crazy. 'We are men,' he said.

Anyway he's now got a copy of Leading the Dance for the fire station shelves, appropriately the red one!

A friend sent through these letters to God . Although I like this one:



it's Joyce here that I can really identify with:

Missed it!

How have I only just found out yesterday was Blog Action Day? That will teach me for skipping one of my favourite blogs - still plenty to read on the website though.

The Thing

My house is filled with letters, in my hands when I drink tea....



on my walls...


and even, as said before, under my feet...



so when I heard about THE THING project...



I knew I wanted to take part. The Thing Quarterly is a subscription only publication, and they call it a publication or magazine on purpose, where you sign up to receive four unknown objects based around text, and all designed by artists, wrapped in brown paper (the objects not the artists, just to make this absolutely clear), throughout the year. I was sad to miss the wrapping party - this is what THE THING's founders said about it:

One of the visions we had about THE THING when we were first thinking of it, was that there would be a sort of social aspect of it when it came time to send it out, like a barn raising. A group of us would pack it and send it out into the world. But the amazing thing about the wrapping party on Wed. night was that it took on a life of its own and suddenly become a sort of force that now seems to be driving the future of THE THING.

But getting to one isn't a bad goal for next year. And when my THING arrived, I was delighted to be even a small passive part of all this ...



Now, I can't wait for my next THING which will be designed by Anne Walsh.

Support text that isn't just in books, I say - although I might have to think of a catchier phrase before I get it printed on a t-shirt.

Burma

From English Pen:

FREEDOM WRIT LARGE

Stand in solidarity with Aung San Suu Kyi and the writers of Burma
English PEN event Thursday 25 October, 7pm

We have watched aghast while the Burmese people have courageously demonstrated against repression and suffered the brutal consequences. New arrests are made every day, and the true number of the detained and disappeared remains unknown. The Myanmar authorities are withholding information about the location of these political prisoners, as well as the charges and conditions they are facing.

PEN knows of at least six journalists and poets who were arrested as a result of organising or reporting the protests. They join a large number of writers who have been imprisoned, harassed and persecuted for decades, many of whom continue, despite the odds, to smuggle out their pro-democracy opinions – including poetry expressing their personal concern for one another. It is time to stand in solidarity with them and support their right to freedom of expression.

On Thursday 25 October at 7pm English PEN is hosting an evening dedicated to Aung San Suu Kyi and other writers who are voices of conscience in Burma. New English translations of their work will be read alongside their remarkable personal stories and previously unseen film footage of interviews with Burmese writers will be shown, including the last interview with the admired comedian and poet Zargana, filmed before he was arrested last month. The event will also be an opportunity to hear the views of Burmese exiles and some of Britain’s leading writers on the recent protests in Burma. It will close with the signing of an open letter of support to Aung San Suu Kyi.

Speakers and readers include:

John Pilger, journalist and human rights campaigner

Benedict Rogers, expert on Burma

Pascal Khoo Thwe, the acclaimed Burmese novelist

Justin Wintle, Aung San Suu Kyi’s most recent biographer

Maureen Lipman, long dedicated to the Burmese cause

Zoya Phan, Burma Campaign UK spokeswoman

Melissa Benn, novelist and journalist



All proceeds will go to support English PEN’s Writers in Prison Programme and to directly benefit Burmese writers now in exile or under threat.

Time: Thursday 25 October - 7pm
Venue: Guardian Newsroom, 60 Farringdon Road, London EC1R 3GA
Tickets: £10 members, £12.50 non-members

Tickets include a complimentary glass of wine after the talk, courtesy of Waitrose Wine

To book: Call 020 7713 0023 or book online.

Wonderful!

OK, here's a challenge. The first person who watches this to the end and stays dry-eyed can have a free copy of one of my books. Not that you'd deserve a copy of one of my books, but still.

How many blogs do you have?

I've been thinking recently about starting another blog - watch this space - not least because I think this one is varied enough already. It's a bit like the paper journal I keep, I'm quite used to finding a shopping list on the opposite page to a character analysis which leads on to some overheard snatches of conversation, and a to do list on the next page. Nice to see someone like Jane Smiley doing the same thing here albeit in a more organised fashion. Her blogs - horse, sales, book, food - don't seem to be updated for some time, but still show how no one can ever be defined by just one thread alone.

When I wake up...

Going with the flow doesn't come easy to me. I seem to be hard-wired to sticking out my chin and fighting, but I'm learning. Partly from thinking how Gretchen at the Happiness Project would deal with things. But then, of course, she'd Be Gretchen (number one on her happiness commandments) and I need to Be Sarah, which does seem to involve sticking out that chin of mine.

Still, I managed last night. A busy busy busy day teaching at Sussex, then busy busy busy drive home to pick up daughter and off to London to busy busy busy meet husband and son to go and see .... THE PROCLAIMERS!! Maybe you have had to live in Edinburgh to fully appreciate them, but oh boy, my family are serious fans. In fact, we were looking forward not so much to hearing them sing, but to sing along with them. Actually - if the truth really be told - we could have just done it at home (and yes, OK, we do that a lot) but sometimes you do need a bit of background music.

Anyway, no sooner had we got our plastic pints of beer (in every way) and sat down, then this woman stood up a couple of rows in front of us and started waving her hands around. Maybe it would have been all right if she'd been in time or if it was Madonna we were watching on stage or anyone who moves around a little, but these boys stay still (apart from when they're having a nice quiet sit down in between choruses, that is). We tried to stand up too, but it was too early in the night for that, and besides all four of us had developed an irrational hatred for the woman which meant we preferred sitting down and muttering to each other about her. As did the three rows between us and her. There was quite a lot of subdued hissing which strangely reminded us of Edinburgh so at least that was nice.

Anyway that's when I channeled Gretchen - don't be Sarah, be Gretchen, just for now at least - and it worked! By the time we got to 'I'm on My Way', the woman's madly waving arms out of tune to anything that resembles life on this planet were not just charming, but essential to our enjoyment. Besides we were all on our feet then, and the Scots amongst us were crying out - baying actually - for Flower of Scotland so we were far more annoying than some randomly arm-sawing English woman. I even nearly went to join her.

Huzzah! And when we emerged out of the Apollo - 500 miles later and then some - England were through to the Final. So we won - on all nationality counts.

A different sort of book...

Can't believe I missed the chance to see this wonderful looking room as a book when it was on show locally in Lewes, but at least it's going to be at West Dean soon. This is what the creator, Carolyn Trant, says about it on her blog:

The Falcon Bride is an experimental ‘room-sized book’ – which I set up in a gallery in Lewes, Sussex during the local Arts Festival. I deliberately wrote no introductory explanations of the piece other than that it is based on a visit to the Polish city of Krakow, where we visited the small museum containing Leonardo’s painting ‘Lady with Ermine’ and a small Egyptian Department containing some mummified falcons; the Polish Ethnographic Museum; and the old Jewish Quarter.
It is a ‘book’ in that you are entering a world and a story which it takes time to absorb; there is a web of references and cross-references of images in different forms – 10 prints on the walls, hand-made objects and models, and a table full of hand-painted books.
The idea of making the room look like a Polish Café (a setting which re-appears within the images) is to make people feel comfortable, both psychologically and physically, as they sit to look into what can be a slightly disturbing journey - in that it asks questions without giving answers. The images and objects, hand-made reproductions of what I saw, but deliberately made to be somehow ‘on the point of becoming’, are proving quite powerful.

"Why do writers write? Because it isn't there."

Thomas Berger

My bossy, if beautiful, new shoes

Reviews

I haven't put up many reviews or comments about my books up here but I have been persuaded I should, and this one I came across yesterday for Leading the Dance has given me enormous pleasure. Looks a good website too, and one I'll definitely be visiting again.

"A no-holds-barred compilation of extraordinary accounts of everyday occurrences.
Salway's concise yet graphically detailed style of recording ordinary people struggling with their mundane lives (particularly when that mundane life is suddenly thrust into unknown and unforeseen events) is captivating, heartbreaking and occasionally salacious.
My personal favourites are "Every Time You Open Your Eyes", "Jesus and the Aubergines" and "The Woman Downstairs"... although the brutal honesty of her characters could quite easily inspire, endear or simply titillate any of you.
You will find your own personal favourite in this collection of the most intimate foray into other people's lives.
Quite extraordinary and highly recommended."

I love the idea of combining all my reviews and turning into a 'no-holds- barred Princess'...

Mind you I've also been lucky enough to have these recent comments from Neil Gaiman (I know I've put it up before but you probably could have no idea how PROUD I am of this), this one from Nik Perring, author of the excellent (just ask Meg and Sam) book, I met a Roman Last Night, What Did You Do?, as well as this notice from the Man himself, Scott Pack.

Don't Forget Burma

Britney or Burma? I've just opened this email (below) from a Burmese friend:

Hi all

Dan and I and some friends went to the London rally in support of the monks and people of Burma yesterday. There was a small but significant number of us - 1500 people.The monks threw rose petals into the Thames in remembrance of those who have died and are suffering in Burma - a moving image.

30,000 people attend a Man United football match, a team beloved by the Burmese. The parents of Madeleine McCann had extensive worldwide coverage of their tragedy. Tens of thousands of children, women and young men and old are repressed, intimidated and thousands have died in Burma. The news reports in the UK are about Britney Spears or the non-event of a general election - don't forget the people of Burma. You can help in small ways see below. If you are on Facebook - please spread the message.

Heartfelt thanks

Cathy

Your message GLOBAL ROAR was FWDed to 200 or more young Burmese expatriates around the world, urging them to to distribute it to their friends and contacts.
********************
Below is another great idea to let the Beijing government know many hundreds of people refuse to buy Beijing Olympics 2008 tickets. A friend passed the message to me.
Subject: Help Burma
Dear all,

I am contacting my friends, family, and beyond, because I feel we need to
show solidarity and support each other during these critical times. Never
before have I seen so much international interest and awareness in the
situation in Burma. For perhaps the first time in nearly half a century of
oppression by the brutal dictatorship, the Burmese people have got the
world listening. That fills me with some hope, because it is through this
global action that I believe change can be made.

I know the events are very emotive, but at present I think we must try to
compose ourselves and avoid acting on our anger, as this could actually
compromise the safety of those we love in Burma, despite the best of our
intentions.

This doesn't mean we can't make a difference. I thought you might like to
know about a movement that my friends and I are involved in. If you like
this idea, please pass it on, post it on a blog, or share it on Facebook.
Only if people are aware can they influence change. Please see the
remainder of this email for details.



============================================

*HOW?*
If everybody we know emails a request (not for tickets, but for China's
action for Burma) to ticketsupport@beijing2008.cn, it will significantly
slow down Olympics ticket sales and call China's attention to the
matter. China may ignore protests, hunger strikes, petitions,
wearing-red shirts, etc. But China cannot ignore these emails, which get
in the way of processing Olympics ticket requests.

Please see the template at the bottom. Please also pledge to send the
same email every 6 hours, or every time you check your email. If they
get tens of thousands of email a day, they will have to do something
about it.

*WHY?*
"The consensus around the European Parliament is that China is the key.
China is the puppet master of Burma. The Olympics is the only real lever
we have to make China act. The civilised world must seriously consider
shunning China by using the Beijing Olympics to send the clear message
that such abuses of human rights are not acceptable."
- Vice president of the European Parliament Edward McMillan-Scott.

China should use its leverage to bring reconciliation and peace in
Burma . However, it recently vetoed a Security Council resolution on
Burma . Yet with the threat of Olympics boycott, China has yielded
significantly to condemn Sudan's genocidal regime.

Please note that this action is NOT an actual boycott. If you have
questions about the topic of Olympics boycott, please read attached notes.

============================================

Send to * ticketsupport@beijing2008.cn *every 6 hours, or every time you
check your email.

Subject: re: tickets

Dear Sirs,

I am very interested in purchasing tickets to some of the events at next
year's Olympic Games.

However I cannot, in good conscience, attend the Bejing Olympics unless
your government uses its influence to improve the political situation in
Burma . China has substantial economic interests in the country, provides
large amounts of economic aid, and invests heavily in infrastructure
projects there. Additionally, your government provides extensive
logistical support to Burma 's military government. All this make China
uniquely placed to influence it.

The people of Burma have, in a very peaceful manner, insisted that their
rights be respected. I ask no more of your government than that it cease
its support for the current regime, and encourage a dialogue with the
democratically elected representatives of the Burmese nation.

I, the Burmese people, and the world would be grateful for your
assistance in this matter. Your courage will go a long way towards
making the 2008 Olympics a success.

With sincere thanks,
(your name)

When it isn't just you...

Life has been a bit shit recently, as some of you may know, so it's nice that some bits of it are starting to slowly work well again. Even better when I told someone about something good that has happened recently and got this in return which made me laugh so much:

And so you should feel special. Like a princess. Or like a princess who's had to work Very Hard at becoming a princess and hasn't simply been born into such splenderous situations. And who must have already had a predispositional princessy talent for becoming one.

You see, this is absolutely why I love other writers. None of this 'good for you' or 'pass the tea' monosyllables for them when several hundred glittery metaphors will do the job just as well.

Makes me wonder what personal dedications of similar flamboyance I can ask Steve Stack to put in my Christmas copies of his book, It is Just You, Everything's Not Shit. He's offering to sign them via his blog. The book - and the blog - is 'A Guide to All Things Nice' from Aardvark to Zebedee and his Sons (or really small kids shouting BOING! everytime he's mentioned in bible classes), dropping in on Sunday lunch, chips from Chinese restaurants, falling in love, drawing pictures in steamed up windows, breaking the ice on a puddle, unicycles (part clown, part Lance Armstrong), watching television sideways, and marbles along the way.

We've all been taking it in turns to read this book in my family and pick out different things each time. To be honest, it's not so much a guide to 'nice things' as a time capsule of British eccentricity. It's definitely a book for someone who already has "a predispositional princessy talent for becoming one", although disappointingly tiaras aren't mentioned. Maybe Steve's saving them for the next edition?

global roar

If you're like me and have been scouring the paper daily to see what's happening in Burma only to find a small paragraph on page 23, there's a on-line petition here to help show the people of Burma they've not been forgotten.

51 times!

Respect.

Song interview

Interviews with musicians are so last year, so here's a first - an interview with a song. When the can came on, I thought I might actually die laughing. Do watch it (and listen to The Blow on myspace too - they're pretty terrific).

Blurbs....

Anything Miranda July can do, I can.... er.... do.