The end of the world and terrible danger ahead...

I should have known better than send Lemony Snicket a fan letter, but I got bored tonight so re-read one of his Series of Unfortunate Events. Loved it all over again, looked up his website and fired off an email. Here's the reply....

Dear Writer

Thank you for your message. When you wrote it, you probably thought you might receive a reply from Lemony Snicket. You were almost wrong.

I’m sorry to tell you that a letter from Mr. Snicket could put you in terrible danger. For instance, Mr. Snicket wrote a number of letters to a woman named Beatrice, the most alarming of which are contained within the book The Beatrice Letters, and she subsequently died a sad, horrible, awful death that still plagues me to this day. This is an extreme case, of course, but you can see why you would never want to receive a letter signed by Mr. Snicket.

There is at least one thing more dangerous than a letter by Mr. Snicket, however, and that is a book by him. Each of the books in A Series of Unfortunate Events have been more dreadful than the last. The End, the thirteenth and final book in the series, is the most upsetting of all.

Sadly, your message to Lemony Snicket suggests that you may have already read one or several of his books. While I’m sure he is somewhat grateful for your interest in the Baudelaire case, hopefully it is not too late for you to stop before The End. Wouldn’t you prefer to read something else?

With all due respect,

Anonymous Representative
HarperCollins Publishers
Department of Vital Fan Disclosure

p.s. You also probably shouldn’t visit www.lemonysnicket.com , sign up for AuthorTracker, or view The Vile Videos.

But just in case you panic and think I really have been captured by Count Olaf, I should probably tell you I'm away for the next week. In hiding. Normal service will be resumed in September.