Saturday, March 21, 2009

Vogue Tips for Fabulous Frugality

I don't think I've laughed so much recently as I did over British Vogue's spoof article on how to keep fabulous in the credit crunch - until a friend pointed out that it wasn't actually a joke.

So we read it again, and now neither of us is sure whether it is or not. Or whether to laugh or cry. Here are some of the 40 'tips' on offer ...

No. 13 Hot-wash a faded pashmina to create a shrunken baby blanket, then monogram with initials in silk thread. (I know! My favourite too until I read...)

No 17 Commission a good seamstress to alter your mother's vintage Chanel jacket to spring's new cropped length - just remember to ask her first (what do you mean your mother doesn't have vintage Chanel hanging around? Or that you might sew yourself?)

No 18 Slice the bottom off last summer's maxidress and use the off-cuts as a beach turban. Alternatively, turn them into a sun shelter using willow canes (either way, no one, repeat no one, will laugh at you as much as they did last year when you were wearing a maxidress)

No 30. Hunt down a vintage Hermes lizard-skin Thermos flask and take fresh coffee to the office (see, this was when I became really sure it was a joke.)

No 31. Up the glamour stakes at home: wear the boyfriend's Prada silk pyjamas, put on some heels, and prepare a baked potato supper topped with taleggio and truffle shavings. (You can actually do the same thing with his old t-shirt and baked beans, it's just that neither Marks & Sparks or Heinz advertise in Vogue so they can't label drop)

No 33 Skip lunch at Cipriani and adopt a glamorous cause instead. Or, better still, adopt a cause then talk about it over lunch at Cipriani. (And this was where I gave up. Which is a pity because I missed just how stocking up on enormous bottles of expensive toiletries was actually frugal)

Ho hum. It's a bit like the time a friend of mine, who had been talking interestingly about politics, suddenly launched into an equally lucid explanation as to how half the cabinet were actually aliens sent to spy on us. I was sent spinning off into a parallel universe when I wasn't quite sure myself what was true and what wasn't. Or what the point was anyway.

Still, hands up. I was the one buying the glossy magazine. And I'm glad I did, because I was mean in this blog some time ago about an article Christa D'Souza wrote for Observer Woman about not wanting to look old, and here she is in Vogue writing possibly one of the best things I've read this year about getting in touch with her inner adventurer. Who cares what she looks like, or whether she's wearing her boyfriend's Prada silk pyjamas or not - she's funny and clever and makes me think I haven't completely lost my sense of humour. Plus she inspired me to want to go on an adventure myself so I'm doubly cheered up, and now off to hunt down a vintage Hermes flask. Do you think they sell them at Lakeland plastics? And will people mock if I can only find one in crocodile-skin?


pinkgecko said...

And where does one hunt down a boyfriend who wears Prada Pyjamas? Quite like the idea of the maxi dress beach shelter though. However, being 5'2", I never actually had a maxi dress. Beach turban???????? What happened to hats?

Kathryn's Daily Writing Workout said...

Reminds me of Viz's Top Tips!