Thursday, September 25, 2008

Pirate competition winner!

OK, the result of this blog's National talk Like a Pirate competition can finally be announced. It's taken a bit of time because I had to get two other judges involved to avoid claims of corruption, the winner won my last competition AND I had publicly claimed I could be bribed. HOWEVER no chocolate passed hands and the winner is .....

....

....

KATHRYN!.

Congratulations, and a prize on its way. Commiserations to the other entrants, but it kind of felt to me that you'd had fun doing it anyway. Hope so.

Here's the winning poem:



A Wes' Coun'ry Lass

Now, I not be the sort o' wench
Findin' themselves lyin' overflowin',
Loaded to the Gunwales,
Entertain' Corsairs at nightfall
An' greasin' me womanly form
By day,
'N' goin' pink
('cept not with shame),
Lef' with a son of a biscuit eater
Or worse, a black spot!
Wha' kin' of booty is tha'?

Aye, me ain' no landlubber for sure
Tho' I ain' goin' thar abroad
Like some squiffy,
No' because I'm lily-livered
but give me the Wes' Coun'ry
Any day an' I'll show you
How the gen'lemen of fortune
Appreciate a sweet lass like me
After the roar of their sweet trade
An' the suppin' of their grog
Wi' a well-filled pasty.

I bein' so popular wi' 'em Jacks
'At words got' 'round
An' whole squadrons
Sample my charms,
So for pieces of eight
They get me warm moist pastry,
Drippin' steak an' onion;
A taste of the' good ol' Wes' Coun'ry
Baked in my oven.
Well, whadya think I meant?
Ya scurvy dog!

12 comments:

Alex said...

WHHAAATTTTTTTT! But I included the word 'bench' in mine!

Or was I disqualified for plagiary?

Either way, I'm losing gracelessly and demand a recount. Or $700 billion.

Kathryn's Daily Writing Workout said...

By the powers! Let's see ol' matey Alex's booty then (his poem, I mean). Furner or no, it's boun' to be worthy o' a place on the Jolly Roger!

Alex said...

A pirate ship is a lovesome thing, aarggh Jim lad!
Black spot,
Cannon ball,
Keel haul—
The scurviest school
Of war; and yet the parrot
Contends that booty is not—
Not booty! in furners! when the fight is hot?
Aye, but I have a wench;
'Tis very sure she cleans my bench.

Nik's Blog said...

Way to go, Kathryn!

Ooh Arr.

Nik

Kathryn said...

Nik - did you do one too?
Alex - at least yours rhymes!

Sarah Salway said...

Now Alex, your poem was very nice but I think we should have a little word about not playing properly. After all, you did get a mixed CD even though you didn't win the free giveaway, and no one told you off when you complained about the party bags, but Kathryn has won and I think it would be gentlemanly if you congratulated her. How about showing everyone just how nice you can be? (... I'm running away now before I get hit!)
KATHRYN, your prize is in the post....

Nik's Blog said...

Nope, 'fraid not, Kathryn. Maybe next year...

N

Sarah Salway said...

I'm holding you to that, Nik!

Nik's Blog said...

By my hook? ;)

Alex said...

Kathryn, congratulations. Yours is much better than mine and is a deserving winner.

Kathryn's Daily Writing Workout said...

Aw, thank you Alex!

And Sarah, I'm looking forward to receiving the mystery prize! Thanks!

Sarah Salway said...

Kathryn, it's chocolate but shhh.... don't tell Alex.