May it be a good - and peaceful - one for you all. And just in case you get bored tonight and can't think what to do with all your champagne corks, the Design Within Reach website is hosting its second 'design a champagne cork chair' competition. Your chair has to use the cork, foil, cage and label from no more than two (2) Champagne bottles (use of glass not permitted). Here's the photograph of last year's winner for inspiration: 
| Hot-headed. You have strong will power and a good imagination.  |
Best Christmas game ever here, courtesy of another forum. Particularly for the sprouts fans amongst us.
To my shame, I can't remember the exact web-route that took me to finding the website of artists, Gerda Steiner and Jorg Lenzlinger, but what a stunning find! Browsing through their archive has been like the best possible Christmas present - oh, but to see their work in the flesh and not just via the internet. The photograph above is of one of their commissions - Soul warmer at the Abbey Library of St.Gall, 2005. This is how the description starts: For a long time, the library was able to capture the emotions of stunned visitors. Some emotions remained stuck to the grilles in front of the books, or trickled away down the gaps in the parquet flooring, where they groaned and wished the whole day long whenever visitors glided over them wearing their felt slippers. More oohs and aahs that emanated from the stream of visitors hid in the ornate lettering in old-fashioned script used for the first letter of every page. Soon after, though (that is to say, 200 years ago), such books were all taken up, and there was space for the virginal oohs and aahs only in the printed matter.
1) 10 percent of the nouns an average 18-month-old US child knows are brand namesActually, that's not funny at all, just frightening. Here's a shopping quote from Sex in the City that does make me laugh because it sums up the characters so well for me: (note, the website above even has its own shop - is there no end?!
2) one in every four UK babies speaks a brand name as their first word.
Carrie: Honey, if it hurts so much, why are we going shopping?
Samantha: I have a broken toe, not a broken spirit.
What do you want for 2007? What would make it your best year yet?
Think about your career: write it down.
Think about your health: write it down.
Think about your finances: write it down.
Think about your realtionships: write it down.
Think about your fun: write it down.
Think about your contribution/give back: write it down.
"All my life I've looked at words as though I were seeing them for the first time." Ernest Hemingway
'is no less remarkable. In just 63 days, the dog foetus is armed with all the basic tools necessary to survive, including a highly acute sense of smell and the ability to detect sounds beyond the human range of hearing.'I'm a bit worried about this, to be honest, and it's back to the usual bad mother question. When my second child was born, she must have already been subjected to hours and hours of watching that loveable dog, Spot, while, heavily pregnant, I slummed it with my first child on the sofa watching the videos. There's no doubt that, once she was born, she responded every time she heard the song. What I'm trying to work out now is what possible evolutionary use it will be for her. I knew I should have been listening to Shakespeare instead, but oh, I did (OK, still do) LOVE Spot.
You scored as A coloring book. Children love you--and so do many adults. They find you approachable, simple and friendly, all of which perfectly describe you. Instead of throwing big words around, you communicate in the international language of pictures. In order to be as open as possible, you present yourself simply, allowing those around you to customize you to their liking. Sometimes this results in you turning into a primitive masterpiece, and other times you resemble a schizophrenic's daydream. So long as the one talking to you understands you, you're happy. Zen and the art of crayon-sharpening.
A coloring book
71% Poetry
57% A classic novel
57% A college textbook
57% The back of a froot loops box
54% A paperback romance novel
39% An electronics user's manual
39%
Your Literary Personality
created with QuizFarm.com
When my friend Anne told me about a scheme to knit scarves for the lions in Trafalgar Square, I thought she must be joking. But Stich and Bitch are doing exactly that. Groups from all round the world are busy knitting bits of the scarf (or possibly four so the lions don't squabble), and they'll be joined together to make a magnificent 43.5 foot scarf, which will be draped around the lion(s) in the New Year before being auctioned off for cancer research charities. One of the groups taking part is Men Who Knit. I don't know why their website salutation 'Good day to you manly knitters' should make me so uncynically happy, but it does. Almost as much as the news of how another London knitting group, the Cast Off Knitting Club were once asked to leave the Savoh Hotel after complaints of impropriety when they held an impromptu knitting circle there.
“The most wasted of all days is that on which one has not laughed.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
"An adult is one who has lost the grace, the freshness, the innocence of the child, who is no longer capable of feeling pure joy, who makes everything complicated, who spreads suffering everywhere, who is afraid of being happy, and who, because it is easier to bear, has gone back to sleep. The wise man is a happy child."ARNAUD DESJARDINS
I know this isn't the comfy armchair I've been searching for, the one that just lets me put my legs up, sit cross-legged, whatever, while I read and write, but how beautiful is this, and other fruit-filled creations from Tom & Smith. Do look at the Bulbs chaise lounge if you visit their website.
M-I-L: Do you know I can't remember.
F: Never mind, I can't remember what I asked in the first place.
“Never use the word suddenly just to create tension.” Writing Fiction
"Is it wrong to eat an entire raised almond coffee cake all on your own?Oh, but look... I've stolen her raised almond coffee cake to eat on this blog too; it's just that it looked too delicious for her not to share. Can you blame me?
No?
Phew! I was worried there for a second.
Ciao!"
"Strangely, my old tastes and interests haven't changed — now I just have extra dimensions. So I listen to Black Sabbath while I bake the scones and I still love bird-watching and rugby."The first signs that something was changing apparently happened in the supermarket when he turned to her and said he was enjoying it, and did they need more eggs? I would have loved to have seen the look on her face. I know I'm generalising hugely here but have you noticed how many husbands just cling to the trolley for grim life in case they'll be asked for an opinion on washing powder, while their wives dart in and out of the aisles filling it up - a bit like a dog on a walk who covers twice the distance. Anyway, the possibilities with this story for character development in writing are endless. There's something particularly moving too about how, when they first met in school, he fancied her straight away because she carried a briefcase while the rest of the girls had satchels. It's all in the details, and surely only a matter of time before they make the movie.
I've said before on this blog how much I love the free weekly cartoon sent to my inbox from Harold's Planet. There's something about the stupidity of Harold's face that makes me laugh, so I was pleased to get notice of their Christmas Show, SMIILING-IS-FREE, to be held at the Dray Walk Gallery, 91 Brick Lane, London E1 6QL, from Friday 15th December to SaturdY 23rd December. They promise original artwork from £5 to £500, and not just my man, Harold.
"My final reducing advice can be summed up in two words: think small. Don't rummage around in your past -- or your family's past -- to find episodes that you think are "important" enough to be worthy of including in your memoir. Look for small self-contained incidents that are still vivid in your memory. If you still remember them it's because they contain a universal truth that your readers will recognize from their own life."
"Who is this elusive creature the reader? He is a person with an attention span of about twenty seconds. He is assailed on every side by forces competing for his time: by newspapers and magazines, by television and radio, by his stereo and videocassettes, by his wife and children and pets, by his house and his yard and all the gadgets that he has bought to keep them spruce, and by that most potent of competitors, sleep. The man snoozing in his chair with an unfinished magazine open on his lap is a man who was being given too much unnecessary trouble by the writer.
It won't do to say that the snoozing reader is too dumb or too lazy to keep pace with the train of thought. My sympathies are with him. If the reader is lost, it is generally because the writer has not been careful enough to keep him on the path."
I have become obsessed with Buffy. When she's on TV, even in the oldest repeats, my children know to call me and I will come running, no matter what I'm doing. When Buffy's on, I don't hide my eyes, or shout out 'No, do NOT go in there'. I don't need to. Buffy can do it. She's the girl. I'm with her every step of the way, willing out more and more ghouls to come and get us. Just let them try. 
WELCOME to Leading the Dance, my collection of short stories from Bluechrome which has the auspicious official publication day of November 5th. Nice to know that, each year, the anniversary of the book's publication will be remembered with such a blaze of glory (despite not being grown up enough to have an Amazon sales ranking just yet):
So, when you go to exhibitions do you read the descriptions first, or do you look at the art? There are definitely two categories of visitors - well, actually there's a third - the ones who are glued into the earphones and have that superior look that tells you how you should have got the 'tour' too because they're finding out so much more than you, and because they have to press certain buttons at certain points they have to stand in front of certain pieces so you can't see them. Truth is, I'm a 'nervous' art appreciator, although I'm learning to just relax and enjoy. 
Home of the Welder was made shortly after the Second World War, and reflects Smith's personal circumstances. He had just been released from his wartime job as a welder, which he believed had restricted his creative work. Like a coded autobiography, various elements in this sculpture relate to his dreams and frustrations at the time. The millstone, for example, was identified by Smith as representing his job, while images of women and children may reflect tensions in his childless first marriage.But most of all I loved the energy of it all. It was interesting watching people came out - we bounced, although those of us who were particularly skittish slid out thanks to Karsten Höller...
I like outdoor sculpture, and the most practical thing for outdoor sculpture is stainless steel, and I make them and I polish them in such a way that on a dull day, they take on the dull blue, or the color of the sky in the late afternoon sun, the glow, golden like the rays, the colors of nature... They are colored by the sky and the surroundings.
"Writing's not terrible, it's wonderful. I keep my own hours, do what I please. When I want to travel, I can. I'm doing what I most wanted to do all my life. I'm not into the agonies of creation." Raymond Carver
Too busy writing to have a shower? I have just the thing for you. A site called Compactimpact is selling chewing gum that freshens your whole body. Now how healthy does that sound? "Chewing gum just to freshen your breath is a thing of the past. Now with an innovative new gum from Japan, gum can freshen your whole body. Approximately an hour after chewing the gum, the special aroma component is emitted from your skin through the use of the new substances geraniol and linalool.
Available in three different flavors, Fuwarinka fresh citrus, Fuwarinka fruity rose, and Otokokaoru rose menthol for men, this unique gum will be available starting July 21st from CompactImpact.com."
"The fact that we can change the atmosphere of out planet by our infinitesimal individual actions stretches our imaginations, but the planet could be destroyed by love - because many of the journeys we make are to visit people we love - and for each journey we make we produce carbon dioxide."
In The Boy Book, Rub confronts the secret about Noel,
mysterious notes from Jackson,
the interpretation of boy-speak,
the villainy of Cricket,
the horrors of the school retreat,
and the exploitation of hooters everywhere.
There are fruit roll-ups.
There is upper-regioning.
There are so many boys to choose from!
And there are penguins.
I was lucky enough to go to a private view of the Velazquez exhibition at the National Gallery in London this week. It was a night of inspiration, not least from this erotic painting of Mars. Apparently it depicts him just after he has had sex with Venus and he has just realised that while he can win any battle, love has undone him. So that's my prompt for today ... undone by love.
"It is perfectly okay to write garbage -- as long as you edit brilliantly. In other words, until you have something down on paper (even it it's terrible) there is nothing you can improve. The audience neither needs nor gets to see the less than brilliant first draft, so they won't know you weren't brilliant all along." --C.J. Cherryh
Result! I will never have to think twice now when people ask me what having a blog has done for me. I don't do this often - honest - but sometimes I do sift through the google searches that bring readers here. Some are straightforward (why are people googling ME? Spooky), others are just plain weird (but I do like how many Sexy Sarah searches there are), and there are many more gems than I expected. A couple of days ago, I had the best ever - making golf holes out of carpet. (And Google directed them to me? Why? It must have been more disappointing than for the Sexy Sarah searchers.)
I can still remember an afternoon spent in tears after my mother gave me a copy of her Woman Magazine (she used to get Woman and WOman's Own every week) with a story about Peter Pan in it. Used to the Disney version, I read it greedily, until the end when Peter decides to come home to his mother, but when he gets there, he finds bars on the window and looking inside he sees his mother with a new little boy. She doesn't want Peter anymore. Oh hell, I'm crying again just thinking about this! A masterclass lesson in how to f*** a kid up, I didn't leave my mum's side for a year! Anyway, at last it's out ... the officially approved sequel, Peter Pan in Scarlet, and the Great Ormond Street Hospital are finally revealing the plot ... Set in 1926, green summer has turned to scarlet autumn. The Great War has claimed a life (Michael), the children have grown up and have children of their own, and troublesome dreams are leaking out of Neverland. When the Darlings and the Lost Boys arrive back there, they find it quite changed. Someone is living in the underground den and hanks of mermaid hair litter the shore. Captain Hook’s ghostly pirate ship is adrift without Captain or crew. When the Wendy House tumbles out of the Nevertree there seems nothing to do but venture further afield and into the realms of Never-been-there-land. Awaiting them are pirates, a circus, animals, witches, fairies… and dangers that will test the resolve of even the greatest hero.
O hushed October morning mild,
Thy leaves have ripened to the fall;
Tomorrow's wind, if it be wild,
Should waste them all.
The crows above the forest call;
Tomorrow they may form and go.
O hushed October morning mild,
Begin the hours of this day slow.
Make the day seem to us less brief.
Hearts not averse to being beguiled,
Beguile us in the way you know.
Release one leaf at break of day;
At noon release another leaf;
One from our trees, one far away.
Robert Frost
1 Time
2 Person
3 Year
4 Way
5 Day
6 Thing
7 Man
8 World
9 Life
10 Hand
"Talent is such a small part of it. Willingness to work hard to learn the skills. (Including the nuts and bolts like spelling and grammar.) Patience to do the necessary revising and if necessary rewriting to get it right. Persistence in the face of rejection. Judgment in deciding what advice to listen to and whom not to trust. Humility to know when you're exerting suction. Knowledge, all sorts of knowledge, knowledge of what's been written, knowledge of the world and its peoples, knowledge of physical science, knowledge of at least one other language to give you perspective on your own. And most important of all: understanding of human beings and why they act the way they do and the way they interact with each other, which can take a lifetime to master but without it a writer is a failure. Maybe a clever failure, maybe sometimes an entertaining one, but a failure all the same."William Sanders
Read and study: the obvious. Live in as conscious a way as you can. Get used to turning your experience into language, keep a journal. Read your favourite writers analytically and consciously as well as for pleasure. Then write!
See this, it's the face of Mars. Have you seen anything more strange? It makes me tingle. You can get daily pictures from space here.
How 200 people a day vanish into thin air.
Shadow of a supermodel
The end of authority.
A generation out of control.
Sordid secrets of the English lady.
Naturists on the path to victory.
How men take control in the 'zapper battle'.
We also do Posh.
Boss yourself around.
Night patrols will be able to gag noisy neighbours.
You CAN change the shape of your body - we're the living proof.
If reading reclaims time, it re-aligns time too. Time for us is always slipping away – we talk about losing time, finding time, making time, and taking time. The well-being we feel when we don’t notice time, because we are happy or engrossed or in love, is the result of those rare moments when time inside us and time outside us are not in conflict. Reading is another way of allowing this to happen, and as it becomes a habit, like all habits it affects the rest of our behaviour too. No question, reading is good for you.
She would turn into a woman others came to for advice. She would be called in emergencies. She would roll up her sleeves and dispense with sentimentality, and do whatever blood-soaked, bad-smelling thing had to be done. She would become adept with axes.
In mythology, Eris caused a quarrel among goddesses that sparked the Trojan War. In real life, Eris also caused strife, forcing scientists to produce a strict definition of the term planet - and that eventually led to Pluto losing the status it had held since its discovery in 1930.
In Greek mythology Pluto is Hades, god of the underworld, and the era of Pluto, including both Nazism and the use of nuclear bombs, certainly presents an unparalleled vision of hell. At its worst, Pluto symbolizes the abuse of power, hellish experiences, and the threat of death, either physically or to a sense of self. In mythology we learn that Hades donned the helmet of invisibility when leaving the underworld. Thus Pluto also speaks of that which is invisible or absent.
For my first touring 'girlfriend', I'm very pleased to welcome Melanie Lynne Hauser to this blog. Melanie's book, Confessions of Supermom is one of a series she's writing, and has already been chosen as a Literary Guild November Selection. It's been described by no less than Publishers Weekly as: "Like its title character, this debut novel has a secret identity...it's unexpectedly poignant and packs an emotional punch despite the cheery veneer... at the heart of this story is a narrative about a lonely, wronged woman who just wants to do right by her children and stand up to an uncontrollable world. Hauser slips in soliloquies on motherhood and womanhood that, though brief, are moving, showing us Birdie Lee's heart and in that, the wishes and dreams of super moms everywhere. "
Hah, The Wicker Man has nothing on my writing prompt for today, which is to write about these two splendid scarecrows from the weekend's allotment show. (Ps I do know that the last link has little to do with our show but I love it so much I had to include it. Worth listening to!)
Happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday to me ....
Mary prefers to be the one to answer the door to callers, but she must have stepped out into the back garden for a moment, so I decided to deal with it myself. With a graceful flourish, I opened the door to reveal a postman who stood on the threshold with a dominant nose on his face, and dare I say it, Postman's knock on his mind."Barmy but brilliant" is the blurb from Raymond Briggs and he's not wrong. Oh definitely a happy birthday for me!
My Tenth Birthday.
There is nothing fiercer than a failed artist. The energy remains, but, having no outlet, it implodes in a great black fart of rage which smokes up all the inner windows of the soul. Horrible as successful artists often are, there is nothing crueler or more vain than a failed artist.
I had such a lovely gift this afternoon - one of those times when you laugh so much you feel weak and all cleared out. And the strangest thing of all was that it was my own humiliation that made me so merry! Close readers of the blog (aren't you all?) will remember my 'baby pumpkin' (thanks Clare); well, today was the day of the great Allotment show and I decided after a sleepless night (really) to put it in no matter what size the other beasts were. I actually felt quite confident by the time I went to pick it for the show; no need for dolls house equipment to make it seem big (thanks Kate). Well, if you have a look at the photograph above, you'll probably guess the big one isn't mine. No, mine is peeping out from behind it, that little yellow thing that looks like a grape. I don't think I need to spell it out that I didn't win, didn't actually come second, no, folks, I was a whole 30kg behind the second smallest pumpkin in the competition.... It was a fabulous show though, more later.
E-language: Common abbreviations for use in the quickfire environment of a chatline. (Whether you think they’re witty or naff, at least you’ll know what they’re on about...)
:) happy
:( sad
:| angry
%-) happy-confused
8-0 shocked
;-) winking
:'-( crying
:-* kiss
X-( brain-dead
lol laughing out loud
:-P sticking out tongue
:8) pig
MC:8) male chauvinist pig
:-X my lips are sealed
\o/ Halleluiah
%-) celebrating
%-( hung-over
@}-`-- a rose…
